Las leyes de la convivencia


UMOR

Las leyes de la convivencia (1) Tras la mudanza, las labores domésticas 1.Esfuérzate en, al menos, manchar lo menos posible y en ser algo ordenado los primeros meses de vida en pareja para que vea el esfuerzo y no huya en estampida. 2.Declárate un inútil convencido. Destiñe un par de camisas de ella y no volverás a poner una lavadora, lava los platos con gel de ducha y el parqué con la fregona llena de lejía (un suelo blanco la convencerá de tu inutilidad). 3.Utiliza las bayetas de la cocina en el baño. Nunca más limpiarás éste último. 4.Si alguna vez no tienes más remedio que coger la plancha o lavar los cacharros (por enfermedad o algo parecido, no seamos crueles), deja restos de comida en los mismos y arrugas en la ropa. No admitas elogios a la labor realizada o serás la nueva planchadora oficial. 5.Y recuerda que, si cedes una, una sola vez, estás perdido. Nunca podrás recuperar el estado inicial.

La primera bronca 6.Déjalas hablar. Ante todo que se desahoguen. Si las interrumpes te puedes llevar un mordisco. 7.Ignorarlas las saca de quicio, ponla a prueba. 8.Bajo ningún concepto cedas ante la idea de que eres un vago. Se firme y refuérzate en el hecho de que tú pones todo lo que puedes de tu parte, que haces las labores más pesadas y, si no surte efecto, prueba a sugerir un cambio de papeles. Nunca aceptarán el cambio. 9.Abandérate y hazte fuerte en el convencimiento de que estás poniendo todo de tu parte para que la convivencia funcione, aunque no sea así, la seguridad en ti mismo es fundamental para el combate ideológico. 10.Nunca reclames ante suciedad acumulada o trabajo sin hacer como respuesta a una bronca, saldrás perdiendo. Relájate y prepárate para la descarga, no le des importancia y nunca admitas que eras consciente de ello.

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